DIAPER WOES, MILK RUNS, AND FURBALLS

For the past few nights, Her Highness II has been waking up soaked to the gills. Going through her pj's, sheets and blankets. This phenomenon has coincided with the opening of a new box of diapers. Has anyone else noticed how thin the diapers are getting? Instead of calling them Supreme Fit or Cruisers or whatever...they should be called Wafer Thins. They certainly don't make 'em like they used to. 20 years ago, after a couple of pees, the suckers would balloon up to gigantic proportions, making the babies look like little Michelin Men. They also rendered 1 out of every 4 children bow-legged for life....but they worked great!

And what's up with those little space-aged gel spheres left behind on our babies' nether-regions after a diaper change? Hmmm? Just what is the material inside the diapers? I probably don't want to know. But I bet all diapers are manufactured at the Scott's Turf Builder plant in Ohio. I'm told that it is totally harmless...afterall 3 out of 4 Dentists recommend them.

I've decided that if we were to have another baby in the house, I'd go au natural (oh you'll need a French accent to read that last phrase) with cloth diapers. Man have they come a long way. They're nothing like the original cloth diapers that were used on me, back in the day when mothers would take an entire flannel sheet and attach it to their baby with rusty old pins. Geez 2/3 of the kids in my kindergarten class has some scar from a diapering accident that they could use for show and tell. The new and improved versions are soft and absorbent, anything but dangerous, with their wide velcro sides and extra inserts for nighttime use. Yup, I'd go cloth!

Okay, back to the story....it all begins at 4:12 this morning. Usually by this time, I'm on my second dizzying descent down the back stairs to the main floor to retrieve a milk for Her Highness II....but not this morning. This morning, I was awakened by that all too familiar sound of our cat horking up a furball. You know the sound - a cough, sneeze and gag all rolled into one. And the fun part was that Isaac was at the bottom of the bed, laying across Big Daddy's feet! I guess Big Daddy was wakened by the sound too because he tried to gently put the sweet little putty tat onto the floor - yeah with one swift taekwondo kick. Ahhh but His Furness was not to be moved so easily. Well, we get some light on in the room (shhh don't wake the baby). Enough light that I could do a little clean up. Everyone goes back to bed. 20 minutes later Big Daddy says "What's that smell"? and then "My feet are wet"! Oh oh!! Poor little cat must have strained himself because he had peed on the bed, through the duvet and sheets right onto Lyle's feet. Oh and he also left us an extra little present!
Back up again with a little bit of light (shhh don't wake the baby)stripping the bed. I made up a nice little makeshift nest for us with just odds and sods that even Martha Stewart would be proud of...with one exception. The only sheet I could find to put on top of us was a "fitted" one.

You can always find a silver lining to any situation if you try hard enough....well, due to the cat's incident, I think I stumbled across the greatest invention. If you're a bed-wiggler like me, you know how your top sheet usually ends up around your waist during the night. Well not with the "fitted" sheet on top. I just hooked that sucker over my shoulder and it stayed in place for the remainder of the morning. However, it will leave an unsightly elastic mark across your neck, so I'll have to account for that in my first prototype. So I'm lying there dreaming about my new business venture when Big Daddy decides to open the window. Ahhhh nature! Did you know that every bird in the county congregates in my backyard at precisely 4:45 am? What a racket....well no more sleep for Mama now.

Next thing I know it's 5:37 am and Her Highness II is ordering her usual - a piping hot milk to go - and a clean diaper....afterall, she was soaked to the gills.