Last night, Rylee (4 1/2) puts her Benny the Bull floor puzzle up on her art table and just starts to draw.....
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
Monday, March 10, 2008
Letter For Jayme - written November 15/07
At noon on November 12 2007, your whole world turned upside down.
Your Foster Mama took you to the Orphanage, never to be seen again. A strange Nanny carried you onto a bus to begin your next step of your journey. After 2 1/2 hours, you arrived at the Civil Affairs Office where you wait in the lobby. A small group of parents enter this lobby. You don't recognize anyone. I don't recognize you. The strange Nanny carries you to the elevator. Four women are waiting to get on. You are 3 feet away, looking at me...at my glasses. We all laugh and guess who you belong to.
At 3:15, I hand an official piece of paper to an official lady. Then the strange Nanny hands me YOU. You don't cry. You just stare at my glasses and gently reach up to touch them. I say "Hi Jayme, I'm your Mommy" and we slowly walk to the center of the room. Time slows. You are so tiny. Just a bird in my arms. You are hungry, you are tired and you want your Mama. A sob fills your tiny mouth, huge drops of tears stream from your eyes. You moan "Mama" and I ache for you. You are so sad!
You have not waited 2 years or even 2 minutes for this moment. I thank God for you, this child. You can only cry and look desperately around for your Mama. I try to console you. You try to fight back. Finally you give in, rest your tiny head on my chest and sleep. Partly from sheer exhaustion and partly to escape this nightmare.
When you wake up in that strange hotel room in a strange bed, to hear strange voices, you cry again. The moaning for your Mama starts again rhythmically.
This will take time....
Over the next few days I will learn how to hold you the right way. Your way. I will learn that you need to sleep next to me holding a small cloth for security. I will learn that you are a real ham, a happy and laughing, cheeky little character. I will learn that you only drink water or juice from a glass. And you will learn that the lady with the glasses will drop absolutely anything she is doing to scoop you up when you call her "mum mum mum".
The memories of these days will fade for you. But I will remember them for you. And be able to tell you just how courageous you were!
Your Foster Mama took you to the Orphanage, never to be seen again. A strange Nanny carried you onto a bus to begin your next step of your journey. After 2 1/2 hours, you arrived at the Civil Affairs Office where you wait in the lobby. A small group of parents enter this lobby. You don't recognize anyone. I don't recognize you. The strange Nanny carries you to the elevator. Four women are waiting to get on. You are 3 feet away, looking at me...at my glasses. We all laugh and guess who you belong to.
At 3:15, I hand an official piece of paper to an official lady. Then the strange Nanny hands me YOU. You don't cry. You just stare at my glasses and gently reach up to touch them. I say "Hi Jayme, I'm your Mommy" and we slowly walk to the center of the room. Time slows. You are so tiny. Just a bird in my arms. You are hungry, you are tired and you want your Mama. A sob fills your tiny mouth, huge drops of tears stream from your eyes. You moan "Mama" and I ache for you. You are so sad!
You have not waited 2 years or even 2 minutes for this moment. I thank God for you, this child. You can only cry and look desperately around for your Mama. I try to console you. You try to fight back. Finally you give in, rest your tiny head on my chest and sleep. Partly from sheer exhaustion and partly to escape this nightmare.
When you wake up in that strange hotel room in a strange bed, to hear strange voices, you cry again. The moaning for your Mama starts again rhythmically.
This will take time....
Over the next few days I will learn how to hold you the right way. Your way. I will learn that you need to sleep next to me holding a small cloth for security. I will learn that you are a real ham, a happy and laughing, cheeky little character. I will learn that you only drink water or juice from a glass. And you will learn that the lady with the glasses will drop absolutely anything she is doing to scoop you up when you call her "mum mum mum".
The memories of these days will fade for you. But I will remember them for you. And be able to tell you just how courageous you were!
NOSTALGIC....
Where did February go?? lol
It's about time to post again...as Penny gets a little nauseous when she sees Jayme's noodle extravaganza picture! Also, Penny's friends Diane and Joe are in Nanning (of all places) receiving their baby girl. Diane posted some pix of her hotel room with the crib in it...yeah, I lost it! Couldn't stop crying! I'm such a wuss! She also posted a picture of the girls' Orphanage Director and some interior shots of the Civil Affairs Office. It just brings back all the memories of receiving Jayme just 3 months ago! So what did I do to stop the crying? Well, I read the letter that I wrote to my sweet Jayme that first week in Nanning! Brilliant! Now my eyes will be puffy for the rest of the day.
I'll share that letter in my next post, but remember:
I was in Nanning without Lyle and homesick like you wouldn't believe! My sister Bev went on one of the tours while I stayed at the hotel with Little Piddle. She was sound asleep on the bed while I watched her...breathe...and I needed to tell Jayme about "those days". I just didn't want to forget that moment in time.
So what else is new? Well, we got walloped with a snow storm on the weekend. Here's Belle after being outside for a 5 second pee.
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