PITY PARTY

Oh my day didn't start out that way....no, I had a plan....I had a list and by golly I was sticking to it to finally get some things accomplished around here. So there I was busily cleaning (Mom, you can stop laughing) the bookshelves in the playroom, tossing magazines into the recycle pile, organizing CD's and books when I saw it....a lovely little piece of memorabilia that I haven't viewed in some time...it dared me to open it. I slowly placed the DVD into my laptop and was transported to 2004. Video of the first few moments after Rylee was placed in my arms. That room in China is in utter chaos - lots of other parents receiving their long-awaited children too - everyone's crying.

The tears haven't stopped over the past few years....tears for Rylee's biological mom and all that she will miss...tears for stubbed toes and skinned knees...tears of fear when she fell down the stairs...and over the past year, tears of loss....as I've watched this hideous disease called Autism take over my big girl. That video showed happier times, when Rylee was still mine. And that "loss" gripped me yesterday. I just couldn't shake it!

And then a friend sent me this:

Welcome to Holland
When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guidebooks and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may even learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland".

"Holland?", you say, "What do you mean, Holland? I signed up for Italy! All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you go out and buy new guidebooks. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for awhile and you catch your breath, you look around, and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills. Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy, and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever go away, because the loss of that dream is a very significant loss.

But if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things about Holland.

Tomorrow will be a better day....

FOG, BOTOX, AND WITCHES

What do these 3 things have in common? They all add up to one trip to the Dentist with Rylee!

FOG:

We had a 9 am appt with our wonderful, caring and best-needle-giver Dentist in the world! I love this guy! He is amazing with Rylee!! Anyway, we are heading to the appt when we run into foggy conditions....I mean, I thought we were headed into St. John's kind of fog....when all of a sudden from the backseat comes this little nugget of wisdom. "It's foggy...guess God has to vacuum the sky." Too funny!

BOTOX:

After sniffing a couple tanks of that bubble gum gas and getting her tooth filled, Rylee bit her lip - real hard - and she was bleeding pretty good. At least she was still in the Dentist chair when it happened...Dr. P. gets her all fixed up and then puts one of those cardboard splint thingies in her cheek to keep her from doing it again. He gave me a prescription just in case her lip ballooned up to gigantic proportions and was infected. Well, by the time we got home, she looked like Angelina Jolie right after a botox injection....her bottom lip was HUGE! And there's a huge chunk out of it. Poor little thing! Gonna hurt in the morning....

WITCHES:

One really great side-effect to the bubble gum gas is that Rylee is really calm. If only Dr. P. would write me a prescription for a tank of that. lol She just sat and drew pretty pictures all afternoon....get a load of this one....remember she's 5.

..

LET IT SNOW...

Can you see it? Yup, it started to snow today. WOOHOO!

JUST DO IT!

Have you ever had dreams of doing something...even got to the planning stage...then just...STOP?! Well, we've talked and talked and talked about doing something on our 100 acres for 7 years now...it was time to DO SOMETHING!!

Soooo, we mixed in:

1 eager Dad (mine)

2 pieces of heavy equipment

3 days work

4 bajillion dollars

And got:

1 dug well

2 good roads

1 farm field ready for planting

1 verrrry excited Mama

My advice to anyone who has talked a plan to death....just pull the trigger and get on with it....

BIG DADDY AND UNCLE BILL CLEARING THE WAY:

CAN YOU MOVE IT OVER THERE NEXT?:

GRANDPA EASING THE TILES ON:

GRANDPA BULLDOZING A NEW 401:

TIME FOR A DRINK:

NAPPING IN THE BACKPACK:

CIRCUS DOG:

J CHANGED HER MIND ABOUT RIDING WITH GRANDPA:

THE MOOSE WALKED THROUGH DURING LUNCH:

KEITH URBAN - EAT YOUR HEART OUT!

GINGERBREAD FOR MAMA ANT'S CRAVINGS

Here you go Mama Ant:

1/2 cup softened butter
1/2 cup packed brown sugar
1 1/4 tsp ground ginger
1 tsp baking powder
3/4 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp salt
1/8 tsp ground cloves (I omit)

1/2 cup fancy molasses
1 large egg
1 tbsp white vinegar

2 1/2 cups all purpose flour

Beat butter in large bowl for 1 minute. Add next 7 ingredients. Beat well. Add molasses, egg and vinegar. Beat until smooth. Mixture will look slightly curdled. Add 1/2 of the flour. Beat well. Mix in remaining flour well. Divide dough in half. Wrap each half in plastic wrap. Chill for at least 3 hours. (sorry not a great recipe if you're having a craving) Roll out 1 portion of dough on lightly floured surface to 1/4 inch thickness. (if it starts to crack or stick weird, just add more flour to your board) Cut out with cookie cutters. Roll out scraps to cut more shapes. Repeat with remaining portion of dough. Arrange cookies about 1 inch apart on greased cookie sheets. Bake in 375 oven for about 8 minutes until edges start to brown. Let stand on cookie sheets for 5 minutes before removing to wire racks to cool completely. (yeah like that ever happens)

Enjoy!!

TIME FLIES

Rylee finally got her cast off! Yippee! Her arm was kinda disgusting underneath...a couple of blisters and a ton of peeling skin. She looked like a shedding anaconda. She's supposed to be wearing a splint thingy for the next month, but she's enjoying the freedom too much to put it on. I know she's feeling better because she's drawing with that arm again!

We headed north again right after getting the cast off - man oh man was it cold! Unbelievable! I guess we really are heading into winter weather...time to remove all of the summer gear - from outdoor toys to clothes...let it snow, let it snow, let it snow! Probably get hate mail for that comment!!! lol

I only have one Rylee story to relay this time: Ry had been playing outside at Grandma's for about half an hour undisturbed (remind me to check on her every 10 minutes) and when I went out to chat, I noticed that there was something on my car. I held my breath as I walked around it...there were random doodles and the alphabet scratched into the paint. There was no denying who had done it...she even left her name inscribed into my hood! Black CRV for sale: low mileage, custom trim.

NO MORE CAST:

SIDEWALK CHALK AT GRANDMA'S HOUSE:

CRAZY MOOSE DRAWING:

GRANDMA AND THE GIRLS:

THE CABIN:

LEAVES ARE TURNING:

GEESE ARE STILL AROUND:

BAKING BUDDIES

ONE nosedive off the chair and I had
TWO eager and happy helpers with only
THREE good hands to bake
FOUR pans of cookies
We were practicing our gingerbread recipe for Christmas!! This one makes super soft gingerbread cookies that are quite mild - not overly sweet either.