THE TALK

Every parent knows at some point in their child's life, they will be having "the talk". As kids are being forced to grow up way too early, it seems that "the talk" inevitably comes along sooner than we'd like. As adoptive parents, we get double duty. Yes, the "where do I come from" talk is also on our agenda. Right from the start, we've told Rylee her story. She has her life book and pours over the pictures while I recount all the tales of receiving her. It's just been a matter-of-fact. She has even witnessed first-hand and understood how the process works due to having a baby sister join our family. Or so I thought.....

Tuesday April 1 2008 will be forever etched into my brain. Yup, started out as just another ordinary day here at home....Rylee at her art table, Little Piddle having her nap. I was in the kitchen when I heard her have a tiny tantrum - she made a mistake on one of her drawings - then a second tantrum and hooboy a third one all within a few minutes! The noise level was about to hit the upper limit of what Little Piddle will sleep through, so I hurried into the playroom to see what was going on. She was really upset!! I held her and rocked her for a minute. Her anger then turned to distress and she was sobbing uncontrollably! Then this tirade came out of my first born that shook me to the core! She kept saying "Rylee go away and Mommy get a new Rylee". At first I was stunned, then she added "Mommy bought Rylee in China". "Rylee go back to China". "Mommy bought Jayme in China". "Kids go back to China". At this point, I'm sobbing right along with her and trying to reassure her that she is staying right here with us. No one is going anywhere and I promised that I would never leave her and go back to China again!

So how long has she been hanging onto these feelings that she couldn't express to us? Has this been part of her anger for all these years? What has she heard from other kids? Where do we go from here?

Well, we have to make a few changes to "her story". We'll have to incorporate some new words and ideas. We're heading into foreign territory here so we're treading lightly. Rylee made the first step that day....unfortunately for her, it came from a sense of insecurity! That makes me sad! On a side note...she's been a whole other kid since the talk!

I have a few years, but I do hope the next "talk" will go much better! Hey and maybe I'll even be ready for it! Oh probably not! lol

WORDLESS WEDNESDAY - WORLD AUTISM DAY

WAY TOO MUCH TIME ON THEIR HANDS

Now if I could get them to clean the tub first....before they organized the tub critters!

RED SPOTS - MUMPS OR MEASLES?

Neither - just a bad case of ladybugs!

AUTISTIC or ARTISTIC

And all this time, I thought the Doctor was saying Autistic....lol

Last night, Rylee (4 1/2) puts her Benny the Bull floor puzzle up on her art table and just starts to draw.....

Letter For Jayme - written November 15/07

At noon on November 12 2007, your whole world turned upside down.

Your Foster Mama took you to the Orphanage, never to be seen again. A strange Nanny carried you onto a bus to begin your next step of your journey. After 2 1/2 hours, you arrived at the Civil Affairs Office where you wait in the lobby. A small group of parents enter this lobby. You don't recognize anyone. I don't recognize you. The strange Nanny carries you to the elevator. Four women are waiting to get on. You are 3 feet away, looking at me...at my glasses. We all laugh and guess who you belong to.

At 3:15, I hand an official piece of paper to an official lady. Then the strange Nanny hands me YOU. You don't cry. You just stare at my glasses and gently reach up to touch them. I say "Hi Jayme, I'm your Mommy" and we slowly walk to the center of the room. Time slows. You are so tiny. Just a bird in my arms. You are hungry, you are tired and you want your Mama. A sob fills your tiny mouth, huge drops of tears stream from your eyes. You moan "Mama" and I ache for you. You are so sad!

You have not waited 2 years or even 2 minutes for this moment. I thank God for you, this child. You can only cry and look desperately around for your Mama. I try to console you. You try to fight back. Finally you give in, rest your tiny head on my chest and sleep. Partly from sheer exhaustion and partly to escape this nightmare.

When you wake up in that strange hotel room in a strange bed, to hear strange voices, you cry again. The moaning for your Mama starts again rhythmically.

This will take time....

Over the next few days I will learn how to hold you the right way. Your way. I will learn that you need to sleep next to me holding a small cloth for security. I will learn that you are a real ham, a happy and laughing, cheeky little character. I will learn that you only drink water or juice from a glass. And you will learn that the lady with the glasses will drop absolutely anything she is doing to scoop you up when you call her "mum mum mum".

The memories of these days will fade for you. But I will remember them for you. And be able to tell you just how courageous you were!

NOSTALGIC....

Where did February go?? lol

It's about time to post again...as Penny gets a little nauseous when she sees Jayme's noodle extravaganza picture! Also, Penny's friends Diane and Joe are in Nanning (of all places) receiving their baby girl. Diane posted some pix of her hotel room with the crib in it...yeah, I lost it! Couldn't stop crying! I'm such a wuss! She also posted a picture of the girls' Orphanage Director and some interior shots of the Civil Affairs Office. It just brings back all the memories of receiving Jayme just 3 months ago! So what did I do to stop the crying? Well, I read the letter that I wrote to my sweet Jayme that first week in Nanning! Brilliant! Now my eyes will be puffy for the rest of the day.

I'll share that letter in my next post, but remember:

I was in Nanning without Lyle and homesick like you wouldn't believe! My sister Bev went on one of the tours while I stayed at the hotel with Little Piddle. She was sound asleep on the bed while I watched her...breathe...and I needed to tell Jayme about "those days". I just didn't want to forget that moment in time.

So what else is new? Well, we got walloped with a snow storm on the weekend. Here's Belle after being outside for a 5 second pee.